We toured one today. That shit was scary. What do you even look for? We were there for like 20min. The facility looks fine. But does that really give an idea of how things work?
I’m just scared to let go of control. So scared. My baby is amazing. Am I gonna get frustrated with her more because of habits she picks up at school? Am I gonna watch her develop in ways I can’t change but don’t like? Everyone does sometimes, right? That’s part of what parenting is. Seeing the rough stuff that crops up and helping your kid turn it into something beautiful where you can. Obviously it also has potential to bring out new strengths and kindnesses in her and to strengthen our bond and also her independence, so like… it’s a great thing. But also she could get hurt. And ultimately that’s the scariest thing. She will get hurt. She’ll learn from it, too, so good in some ways. But dear god, how do I let go of the fear and control?
This shit is intimidating.
We’ll prolly enroll her at this place for now though. One more place to tour for now, then we decide, I guess. We’re thinking this will just be interim care while we’re on waitlists for nicer programs, but we haven’t actually figured out which ones yet for sure. Who knows what’ll happen? Not me.
Anyways, big Jamie news? He rolled over from tummy to back today! He’s sorta done this before by accident but this is the age where they start doing it intentionally. I didn’t see it happen so I’m not sure how intentional it was. I guess I’ll have to report if he repeats it, lol. I’m still proud of him.
Also Erica got a booster seat. She’s officially done with her high chair. And today at the park she wanted to swing almost the whole time, and also went down the slide even though there were lots of kids around and she was nervous about it. Hopefully the daycare helps with the shyness.
I’m particularly exhausted for no particular reason today, but I’m happy. My kids are great.
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