Marion Makes…
Lots of crafts and things.
Tag: self reflection
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I am so bad at consistency. I was gonna say “consistent posting of anything” and then I was like “actually just consistent writing of anything” and then… yeh. Just anything, really. I was gonna go over what I’ve been doing lately overall for this post and then I remembered this is a daily and that’s read more
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The alliance for infants and toddlers (nonprofit org that helps monitor premature or at-risk kids for development milestones) has sent us our first “self assessment” and I’m low key freaking out. I have thought Erica was developing fine, but this assessment wants her already doing stuff she is definitely not doing yet. It is sposta read more
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bruh I have had a time I spent the first several days nauseousThen I was dizzy enough I couldn’t walkThen I had a good day!Now my fucking herniated disc is causing me pain for no damn reason and I can’t walk again. It has been so bad that more than once I have wondered if read more
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We took Erica to one for the first time today. It was so much fun. She went on a swing, which almost put her to sleep, but then I also helped her go down a couple slides and she crawled through a tunnel with me. It was truly amazing, she’s such a little kid. She read more
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Hello from my new website, friends! We’re now hosted on wordpress instead of bearblog, and I’m super excited about it. The site content is still very much the same as before, but with so much more functionality and adaptability. I have a search bar! I have a tag cloud! You can leave comments! 🤩 I read more
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I am currently writing from the comforts of the in-laws’ house. Today was a crazy flurry of activity; I packed for this trip, which takes a lot of work cuz baby, but then I also vacuumed and mopped the entire bottom two levels of the house so we’d come back to somewhere clean. That included read more
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Today, Mom and Evan drove back home. Nate went to the office, so for the first time in weeks, it was just myself and my daughter in a quiet house. For a bit, I felt as empty as the space, but it was good. I’ve been so full of anxiety and planning and rushing around. read more
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My stomach has hurt more in the last two weeks than it had in the last two years. Anxiety go brr. There is progress being made, but it is hard and the methods are a little traumatic. Sorta an end justifying the means kind of situation. Hopefully. Every indication is that we’re doing the right read more
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My kid is one of those, I’m realizing. I have accidentally made her incapable of being alone in a room or playpen without screaming her lil face off. I’ve gotta be close, if not holding her. She does eventually calm down but dude it takes forever. I gotta encourage more self soothing behaviors… which just read more
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I really thought I could come up with new post names based on whatever I was writing about, but I feel like I’m running out (ha!) of names. I do a lot of repetitive things. Same name type shit. We’ll see what happens I guess. Erica had breakfast and then had to entertain herself for read more
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This has been a really tough month. I’ve been in a pretty deep depressive episode for a few weeks now; not sure if it’s meds related or just cuz things are pretty tough right now. Or both, I guess. It’s made me struggle to be productive and complete daily quests, but there’s still stuff to read more
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mental health go brrrrr. we been having a bit of a depressive episode for a few weeks. I’m planning on talking to my psychiatrist about a med adjustment, but my next appointment is still three weeks away. Here’s hoping we see a major upswing before that. I’ve missed twoooo game nights with friends now. Still read more
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On day 2 of no caffeine. I don’t sleep well. Hoping maybe this will help somehow. I’ve been struggling quite a bit the past few weeks. Wondering if I need to make a med adjustment. Today we’re going for a hike, sorta. It may be paved, idk yet. Def nothing crazy compared to some stuff read more
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Spent more money on some skincare stuff last night. Middle of the night buys type shit. I’ve been thinking about buying these things for a while now though so I don’t regret it or anything – just feels funny to have done it so late. Usually not a great idea. I feel a little bad read more
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Almost didn’t post on my thirtieth birthday. Sneaking it in with fifteen minutes to spare, lol.It’s been a wonderful day, despite being very different from my original plans. Nate was amazing and set everything up so we could paint minis together for the first time in actually years, and then we dropped Erica off with read more
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I know it’s all I talk about, but I have to keep trying, cause I haven’t gotten the words right yet. How can I possibly express my amazement at being a mother accurately?It’s the most mundane thing, but it is also the most important thing I will ever do. It is making me so much read more
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Been having a tough couple of days. My brain has decided it’s depression time. Erica still brings me joy, and I’m grateful that stays untouched so far. But other things are all draining. I’ve been exercising this week, and therapy went well. I’m getting enough sleep. It’s just a low period. We’ll get through it. read more
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Tfw you say you’re gonna do a thing and then you don’t… Had a really tough day mentally yesterday so I did not end up feeling confident enough to post about the blog. Same with today, as far as spoons for posting. I need more confidence to do it than I thought, I guess. Yesterday read more
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Full disclosure, it’s not 3/30 yet. I wonder if I’ll post on the right day. Wanted to get some things written down before they left my mind. Thank goodness for saving drafts. My neighbors are screaming while my child is asleep. I’m unreasonably mad about it. She’s been sleeping weirdly, having late naps, resisting them read more
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I’m experiencing this wild phenomenon where, because I feel much better today than yesterday but am still stuck in bed, I feel like I’m lying. Like, I’m much less pained, so I should be up! I should be mobile! I’m still legitimately hurting badly enough that standing and even sitting is really painful and difficult, read more
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I said “tomorrow I’m gonna be productive and not play any videogames!” And my body said “haha remember the herniated disc that hasn’t really hurt you in months though?” I made it to therapy but I’ve been stuck laying down since then. So of course I’m gaming. Back on Coral Island for hours. Aleve hasn’t read more
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Uh I did nothing but take care of my baby and play coral island today Feeling like tomorrow is gonna have to be a no gaming day as penance cuz that was not the best choice ever Props to my husband for rolling with me and making dinner and decaf for us after a long read more
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I’m gonna try putting words after share numbers so they’re more distinct I guess Rn and for the past couple of days I have been battling with uncertainty about my performance as a mother. I think this happens pretty cyclically. I spend time doing something for myself a lot for a couple days and get read more
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Why do I always lay awake at night scheming these grand designs for what I’m gonna do the next day? It never ever works out that way. In the middle of the night, when I should be resting, my silly little brain is spinning it’s wheels, certain I can take on the world come morning. read more
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Sitting here trying to find courage to write creatively, and I stumbled upon something I wrote several months ago. I still feel very similarly to this, although I wanna put in the caveat that the desire to have faith and the ability to have it are very different things, and I can wish for something read more
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It’s unseasonably warm so I have windows open and it is so good for my mental health oh my god. Looking forward to a walk with Nate and Erica when Nate gets off work. Losing an hour fucking sucks, but the later sunset is amazing. One of the things I forgot to mention but want read more
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Current Quests What I’m tracking right now Completed Quests Previously tracked quests that I feel are now successfully formed habits. I’m listing these because some of them are incredibly basic, and I want people to see that journey and be empowered to keep at their own, no matter how small their steps are. This is read more
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Happy Monday, fam. I don’t particularly want to get into the habit of posting monthlies in the middle of the month, but I’ve put it off too long at this point. I reckon it’s time to try catching people up. So uh. I think the format I’m gonna try to use is something where I read more
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I cleaned the car and then it started raining lol I have had a really difficult time emotionally today/tonight, for no apparent reason. Depression go brrrr. No, I did not forget my meds, lol. It just be like that sometimes. Nate made me my evening cuppa decaf and took care of Erica so I could read more
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An insane amount of realizations and situations, including but not limited to Earnestly laughing back and forth with my kid for no reason other than to hear her laugh, reveling in the fact that she’s doing the same thing and feeling the same feeling “…does she seem sleepy to you??” Giving up a little because read more
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Nate is at a neuro-oncologist appointment with his parents for Zaide Dovid, so it’s a me and E morning so far. She’s been her usual cheery self. Fed her some banana and a puree pouch. Those things are fire. I’m feeling self conscious about my weight recently. Thought I’d share my insecurity for relatability, cuz read more
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It’s one thing to miss the last entry of a day and backdate it… it’s another to miss a whole day and backdate it lol. Oh whale.2/19 was rough, I’m a little frustrated with myself. I was very impatient. I think I managed to avoid taking it out on most people, but I did vent read more
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Had a good therapy session. For any who don’t know, I’ve been with the same therapist for like eight years now. Highly recommend therapy, if you can find someone who really draws you out and challenges you when needed. Prepping mentally for novel class again tonight. I’ve been anxious about it, but I’ve been able read more
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This sleep regression is gonna kill me, particularly if it lasts beyond these last two weeks of Nate’s paternity leave. I think she woke me up five or six times last night? Is that even possible rn? I dunno. Just before bed I was thinking about brushing my hair, because it really needed it, and read more
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Finished out the day by making the guest bedroom more livable and organized (can you tell we like the Ikea kallax?) and then spent the last two hours on calligraphy. I’m struggling lately with feeling as if the time I’ve put in practicing isn’t reflected in the quality of work I put out. Obviously I’ve read more
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Feeling really grateful for my siblings support and for the support of the people close to me. When I feel unwell and need to work through my feelings I usually end up doing so by expressing myself to others. They are always so willing to hear me out and offer loving and patient feedback even read more
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I started a writing class tonight, and already I’m seeing how my attitude is going to be a problem.I haven’t taken an actual class in years. The cast of characters in this continuing education group is distressing and comical, thus far. There’s Dot, whose writing strengths are ImAgInAtIoN and also that they got an artist read more
Marion Makes... 